Travelog: Croatia (Rebirth)
Marjan hill, Croatia
As a writer and a contented introvert, there’s a lot to appreciate in the solo traveling experience. Freedom, flexibility, opportunity for self-exploration and growth. But for a deeper, richer experience while traveling, just as in life, I need community and human connection.
One easy way to find a ready-made community is by going on a small group tour. Viator, GetMyGuide, TripAdvisor and others offer affordable guided day trips. Here are the trips I took from Split, Croatia:
Plitvice Lakes, Croatia (Like walking through Rivendell!)
Old Bridge Area of the Old City of Mostar, Bosnia and Herzegovina (Symbol of reconciliation and peaceful coexistence of cultures and religions.)
Five Island Speedboat Tour Featuring the Blue Cave and Hvar (High adrenaline ride + breathtaking beaches)
The beginning of a group tour is not unlike a round of speed dating. There’s a few minutes after you check in and before the tour starts, where the group gathers in a designated area and waits. This is when you have to make your move.
Here’s how it happened for me on the Five Island tour. When I got to the waiting area, my trauma-derived superpowers kicked into gear. In a glance I assessed the people gathered. I saw two women talking in those friendly animated tones often reserved for strangers, and I went in. I interrupted, a bit more awkwardly and aggressively than I would have liked (but some kind of action is better than none in these situations): “Sorry, I’m totally eavesdropping, but it sounds like you both might be solo travelers, too?” They laughed and welcomed me into their conversation about their experiences in Split so far. Tips, questions, future plans. And just like that, we were a group.
Later, we spotted another solo traveler, made introductions, and we were now a merry band of four.
When you’re alone, any company can be good company. Here’s some of my operating principles on a group tour, which are incidentally great life lessons:
Lower expectations. These people don’t owe me anything. A general flexibility and agreeableness, and setting aside fixed ideas on what you want to happen works best. A willingness to, yes, go with the flow. Lots of: “Sure, let’s do that.” “I’m game.” “Lead the way.”
Look for the similarities. We all have a single common purpose: to find friendly companionship for the day. That’s it. We set aside most things, steer away from differences and come together around general commonalities. In doing this, conversations tend to ebb toward universal topics of matter. Family, traveling, relationships. Common ties.
Be of service. It helps to remember that most people are looking for reassurance and acceptance, just like me. A sure way to find it is to offer it. By doing this we can create what it is we’re looking for.
So it just worked. Four complete strangers, from the U.S, Canada, New Zealand and the UK, island hopping in the Eastern Adriatic.
You hear stories and see snapshots of lives from completely different backgrounds. And in some instances you have the privilege of hearing a story that really resonates with you and echoes your own inner journey. The ones that leave you smiling, shaking your head from wonder, feeling like there’s definitely a benevolent force curating your experiences.
A Story of Rebirth
This was Becca’s first solo international trip, just like me. She was making a new beginning in life after getting out of an emotionally abusive marriage of 22 years.
“I didn’t even realize I was walking on eggshells all those years. I just thought it was normal. And life was hard,” she explained, looking baffled, as if she couldn’t comprehend how she had been. “By the end, I was afraid to think and verbalize anything. I was emotionally frozen.”
But by the time I met Becca, she was making a remarkable recovery. She had people in her life who were helping her feel what she needed to feel, to forgive herself for what she stayed in all those years.
She showed me a glimpse of the lotus flower tattoo on her ankle. Lotus seeds germinate in the mud at the bottom of bodies of water. Seemingly stuck. But they’re not stuck. They’re in incubation. They’ll soon sprout to the surface revealing layers of extraordinary beauty.
The Becca I met in Split had sun-kissed cheeks and a bright infectious smile.
“I feel like I’m in my 20s, just starting my adult life,” she said. She felt as if her development shut down when she started experiencing the trauma.
And now she was embracing all of life. “I never want to go back to when I couldn’t wait for the day to be over.”
After decades of suppression, she has started saying yes to herself and to the exploration of life, both outward and inward. Going skydiving, getting a tattoo, opening up to a kind and generous lover who appeared in her life, taking an international trip. And she is just getting started.
Becca had loved to draw, but hadn’t created anything since high school. As if sensing a safe environment again, the creative energy that had laid dormant in her started animating back to life.
She began creating a rapid succession of artwork that told the story of her inner journey and healing.
Times of rebirth are opportunities to experience life as a beginner. Uninhibited and free. Before the world got its hands on us. But it requires action. Stepping toward the new and unfamiliar, and taking inward and outer journeys of exploration and growth. I’m so grateful for meeting a fellow traveler on this journey!
“Do you have the courage to bring forth what’s hidden within you? ... We are all walking repositories of buried treasure. ... The hunt to uncover those jewels, that’s creative living. The courage to go on that hunt in the first place. That’s what separates the more mundane existence from an enchanted one.”
